- November 2017
“Unfortunately it’s never gonna stop, Molly. People are always suspicious of people who are different. Human nature.”
Set in present day Philadelphia, White Guy on the Bus follows the life of a wealthy white businessman Ray who rides the same bus week after week, eventually befriending a single African American woman. What initially appears to be friendly rapport between unlikely acquaintances soon turns into an uncomfortable business proposition. As Ray’s alternative motives are revealed, it becomes clear that this is definitely not a play about mutually beneficial relationships formed across social and racial divides, but one revealing the hard truths about the latent racism that characterises much of American life today.
- November 2017
We're back! After a smash sell-out Fresher's Week Smoker, Pembroke Players have teamed up with GADS for a fantastic collab night of comedy and sticky-floors. Featuring a hot-to-trot line-up with some of the best comedians Cambridge has to offer, this is one you won't want to miss!
As always, wine will be provided ~~
Ticket link below:
Students: £6, Concessions: £4 (Girton students eligible for this discount).
- November 2017
A brand new sketch show from Footlights Rhiannon Shaw, Rufus McAlister, and Adam Woolf.
Rufus has been really struggling in the bedroom department lately, so Rhiannon and Adam, our resident sexperts, have agreed to take him under their wing, and show him the finer points of attracting that special someone.
Through a series of sketches, songs and monologues, we go on a whistle stop tour of all things sexy, from 1st dates to bondage, and everything in between.
Will Rufus be able to use his new-found knowledge to woo his beau? Maybe his would-be lover is already in the audience...
Previous Praise:
"A sample of the quirkiness and brilliance of Cambridge’s late-night comedy scene" - Varsity
"Varied, relatable and, most importantly of all, funny" - The Tab
"Innovative and excellent with a glorious bizarreness" - CTR
★★★★★ Varsity
★★★★★ CTR
★★★★½ The Tab
9/10 TCS
- November 2017
Join a line-up of hilarious Cambridge Footlights regulars as they go entirely off-script in Panel Show: Live From the Cellars!
- November 2017
Sean O'Casey's masterpiece revolves around the harrowing events of the 1916 Easter Rising. Set in a Dublin tenement, the play follows the lives of its ordinary residents. Dealing at first with their almost comic vivacity, the threat of militant nationalism moves further indoors and O'Casey's play delves into the heart wrenching consequences of war. He poses a question all too relevant for today: what happens when political terror forces its way into the home?
One of O'Casey's best plays, indeed one of the most significant Irish plays ever written, this play is a story of community, of hope in the face of terror and terror in the face of violence. It both comically and painfully represents and recreates the tenement environment of a Dublin under siege.
This production in Pembroke New Cellars will be atmospheric, intense and claustrophobic, immersing the audience in the war-torn Dublin streets: to feel the heat and glow of the artillery fire, the slamming of the door and the shattering of the window as the domestic tenement must necessarily bow to the pressures of its violent political master.
- October 2017
‘No, we are not all in the same boat. And I’ll tell you why. Because we are not all drowning together.’
In the town of Crestyn, the British government is testing a new kind of democracy: every major decision in every citizen’s life that could possibly affect the community – taking local jobs, moving houses, marriage, divorce – must be voted on by the town. The power is entirely in the hands of the people.
Michele, a twenty-something Italian immigrant, and his adopted teenage daughter Daisy have finally escaped from Michele’s abusive partner Paolo, but Crestyn is unwilling to grant them a divorce. And when Daisy reveals that a frightening new obstacle has been thrown into their path, their fight to win over the anonymous judgement of their town becomes far more urgent.
Thy Neighbour is a dystopian parable about contemporary politics, reproductive rights, the amount of information needed to pass judgement, and whether, if given power over the lives of others, our decisions are motivated by love or hate.
- October 2017
After an explosive one night stand at the Corpus Playroom in June, 'Baby Steps' is back for two more nights! With a chunk of new material thrown in with last time's big hits, last year's freshers sketch show is fresher than ever.
Every October, 3000 teenagers are carried south by the University of Cambridge Admissions Storks (U.C.A.S.), and deposited onto a fleet of punts stationed on the River Cam near the village of Grantchester. The triumphal procession then advances down the river into the Cambridge city centre, and the ‘freshers’ are carefully hand-picked by the various colleges. This birthing process is known as ‘the pool’.
This year’s dregs, the final six freshers to be picked, unified by collective outrage at their misfortune, have banded together in the silliest way imaginable. They’re taking things one little bit at a time in the big world of Cambridge, so come along to track their baby steps. Join bleary-eyed freshlings Emmeline, Will, Aimee, Noah, Alex and Tom as they learn how to walk and then perform comedy in quick succession.
- October 2017
The DDR, 1983. Fairy tales and Censorship.
“It isn’t about being dead or not, it’s about what you leave behind”
So says the writer Katurian, who finds himself in police custody after it is discovered that several of his short stories have a suspicious connection to a series of recent child murders. Whilst Katurian thinks that he’s been arrested for getting on the wrong side of the regime in this totalitarian state, the good cop/bad cop double act Tupolski and Ariel have other ideas. When Michal, Katurian’s brother, is brought in for questioning, Katurian’s involvement in the crimes no longer seems as tenuous as it first appeared... nor the connection between fiction and reality.
Martin McDonagh's satirical black-comedy brings together elements from across the latter half of the 20th century, from the lies of countless Presidential administrations to the fall of Soviet Russia.
Please be aware that the play contains several triggering themes, including allusions to abuse and rape
- October 2017
Pembroke Players' Smoker is back! It's been a long summer and we are so ready to unleash some of the funniest comedians on the circuit on our audience.
Whether you're a nervous fresher or an embittered finalist, get yourselves down to the cellars for the first Smoker of the year!
- June 2017
Our final smoker of the year is here! Join us for an evening packed with comedy including both sketches and stand-up from experienced veterans and fresh new talent alike.
Wine served from 8.15 with the show starting at 8.30.
- March 2017
For the third year in a row, Pembroke Players Comedy presents The Lady Smoker, our annual showcase of the funniest women and non-binary people on the student comedy scene!
- March 2017
Seventeen years ago, the Picksford Amateur Photography Society held its final ever meeting, and went their separate ways. However, at the funeral of former treasurer Dorothy, the remaining four members are reunited, and take a trip down memory lane as they look through their old sketc- photos. Photos. It's photos. That's the premise.
Join Footlights regulars Will Hall, Laura Cameron, Rufus McAlister and Leo Reich for a fast-paced night of sketch comedy in which every picture tells a story.
“Punch after punch of genuinely funny gags” – Varsity
“Phenomenally funny” – The Bubble
“Inexperienced or amateur it was not” – CTR
- March 2017
Howard Barker’s ’13 Objects’ is a modern play, published in 2006. It is a series of vignettes, each centred around a different object such as a pair of shoes, a camera or a spade. The play ‘reveals the investment we make in inanimate things, their power to unsettle us, and how their talismanic qualities license new ways of seeing the world’.
- February 2017
Biff, a mean private eye with a quick wit and a slow Southern drawl, is back in her hometown Bogalusa after a break from the detective game. But now it looks like ol' Columbos gonna have to dust off her magnifying glass. Her philandering ex-lover Jake ain't changed one bit, and now her sister Sally's gone missing.
But the mysteries don’t end at home. Both local reverends are acting pretty sketchy, and Brenda the businesswoman seems willing to do anything to get cigarette sales back up, even if that means hiring weedy marketing consultant Trevor.
In Bogalusa corruption, like smoke, rises straight to the top and comedy, like smoke, is everywhere and sin, like smoke, is probably a bad thing.
Adjust your suspenders while you still can: noir is about to get seriously silly.
- February 2017
An hour of no-frills sketch comedy just as nature intended.
Since flexible patterns of thought provoked by jokes and certain types of laughter are proven to boost productivity, the University permits students to take a short break from fact-learning and essay-writing for an hour of compulsory mirth. Fun is obligatory. Attendance is mandatory.
The gimmick is that there is no gimmick.
Laugh, why don’t you.
- February 2017
Dirty Hands is an existential play that tells the story of Hugo, fresh from prison, who visits his former boss, Monica, a Labour party deputy. In an attempt to prevent Hugo from being ‘eliminated’ by party members angered by his indiscretions, she must decide whether he is récupérable for the cause before midnight. This ultimatum frames the play, while the story is told in flashback. Hugo is a young intellectual, keen to prove himself as an homme d’action. He accepts the challenge of assassinating Turnbull, a rising star on the right of the party, making it look like a suicide. As the play progresses, we see Hugo’s internal struggles and self-doubt emerge; if he abandons his task he will be killed, but if he murders Turnbull will he lose his integrity? Hugo’s girlfriend, Jessica, warns Turnbull who, ever the persuasive politician, convinces Hugo to join his cause instead. Hugo agrees, but when he returns to proclaim his excitement for the future, he walks in on Jessica embracing Turnbull and shoots him. With the killer’s identity established from the beginning, this political drama considers the “why”, not the “who." Crime of passion or political murder? The audience must decide.
- February 2017
Hot Cross Men smashed it right out of the improv park with their Edinburgh Fringe hit, What the Dickens. That’s a fact. Many thought that was the end of their story. Untrue. Colin Rothwell (Actor-in-Chief, 1st Computer Science), Haydn Jenkins (Footlights Enforcer, 2.i [predicted] Geological Sciences), and Ted Hill (Doctors Hate Him, 2.i Biological Anthropology) are back, and now even the bad guys are left quivering in their boots. These boisterous beasts have improv oozing from their every hole; and they’re offering you a taste of the action. Our three comedy renegades were birthed, kicking and screaming (no midwife needed), from the gentle womb of The Cambridge Impronauts, and they haven’t looked back since; not even when there was a big explosion.
I hope you’ve got your copy of ‘The Conventions of Comedy’ because Hot Cross Men will blast it to smithereens, then throw it in a chemical fire (no safety goggles used), where it belongs.
It’s fully improvised. They’re fully in charge. And you’ll be pleased to learn they won’t be held back by anything: not by scripts, not by directors, and certainly not by the pesky establishment. The boys are trying out some new formats, popularised in Chicago, America. That’s right. America. They’re red hot, Red Cross, red men redemption. Hot Cross Men.
PREVIOUS PRAISE:
'Truly Marvellous' - EdFringeReview, 4 stars.
'Ridiculous and hilarious' - The Tab, 4.5 stars.
'An impressive display' - Varsity, 4.5 stars.
'It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but hot cross men' - Charles Darwin (Ordinary Degree, 1831)
- February 2017
Cathy has one ambition: to be the first person to fly solo from Scunthorpe to Paris. Unfortunately, her world-weary father just wants her to stay at home under his watchful eye and new hybrid Perspex ceiling whilst he tries to recreate his brief croissant-inspired love affair with the spirit of his dead wife in his specially made ghost garden. A fast-paced, absurd comedy show that takes you from the llama fields of Scunthorpe Aerodrome to the most left-wing corner of Scandinavia, Frank and Cynthia is a timeless love story that will have you weeping out of your ears.
- February 2017
- November 2016
“It wasn't Zeus, not in the least,
who made this proclamation—not to me.
Nor did that Justice, dwelling with the gods
beneath the earth, ordain such laws for men.”
Raging against the unfair treatment of her traitorous brother Polyneices’ corpse, Antigone defies the proclamations of the state forbidding any burial and gives Polyneices all the funeral rights appropriate for a man killed in military combat. When her despotic and newly-crowned uncle Creon discovers the betrayal, he sentences her to an agonising and irreligious execution, despite the protestations of his son Haemon and his political advisers.
Over the course of this fast-paced, ever-relevant Greek drama, we see the unyielding defiance of the individual will and the crushing tyranny of an authoritarian state come into conflict, resulting in (needless to say) tragic consequences.
- November 2016
An hour of musical stand-up from sketch-show regular Ruari Bride, and the Footlights team that brought you "Trump'd", "Full Frontal Prudity", "23, Please!" and countless smokers!
Join us in the Pembroke Cellars as Ruari performs variety of comedy songs on every aspect of Cambridge life, with favourites such as "The Consent Song" and "Stash" alongside brand new material.
From the pensive to the silly to the downright bizarre, Downbeat's multi-instrumental comedy makes it unlike anything else you'll see this year!
Previous Praise:
"Bride's consent song is a hilarious and relevant composition!" - Cambridge Theatre Review
"A showcase of Cambridge's late night wit and sharpness" - Varsity
- November 2016
1980s Alexandria, the television flickers on: ‘‘Nay, but this dotage of our general’s overflows the measure. Those his goodly eyes, that over the flies and musters of war have glowed like plated Mars, now bend, now turn […] his captain’s heart […] is become the bellows and the fan to cool a gypsy’s lust”
Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra is a love story born from political conflict: ambition, backstabbing and corruption. Witness the collision of two worlds: Rome, a modern, global superpower, and Cleopatra’s Egypt, a psychedelic landscape, a bower of bliss beyond the confines of Rome. Sparks fly. The drums of war begin to sound.
Fame and power converge on tabloid pages and television screens, changing romance to scandal. Personal identities are shaken along with public images. Both worlds begin to crumble, as egos are pitted against emotions.
This Michaelmas, see the ‘gaudy night’ of Shakespeare’s tragedy transposed onto the cultural landscape of the 1980s: radical politics, the ‘cult of personality’, music and excess.
“Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low…”
- November 2016
It's back! Hot on the heels of our smash-hit sell out Fresher's Week Smoker, The Sticky Floor Smoker returns after a year's absence and this time it's bigger, funnier, and probably stickier.
If anyone's confused...
sticky
/ˈstɪki/
adjective
1.
tending or designed to stick to things on contact.
floor
/flɔː/
noun
1.
the lower surface of a room, on which one may walk.
Sticky Floor Smoker
/'stɪki flɔː ˈsməʊkə/
noun.
1.
A bloody brilliant line-up including top Footlights veterans and the hottest new talent alike. Known to induce bowel-destroying levels of hilarity.
Get thee down to the cellars and see for yourselves!
"A truly fantastic night of comedy"- The Tab
- November 2016
Three people are being held in custody for crimes they allege they did not commit. Telling each other their stories, they work back and try to find out how they all got banged up. Are they really all innocent? Are they part of some bigger conspiracy? And where have all the bees gone? Come and find out in this clever and fast-paced narrative comedy, full of great laughs and crazy characters.
- November 2016
Tom Evans is a brilliant particle physicist and a middling sketch comedian. Determined to put on a sketch show, but lacking in ideas, he does what any sensible individual would: he builds a time machine to travel time and space for inspiration. Together with the help of his friends this is the show they create.
But isn’t time travel notoriously dangerous? What is really motivating Tom? And did he really get with Cleopatra? Come and find out!
- November 2016
Something terrible has happened. Rewind.
Shadowed under the gaze of the Brooklyn Bridge: Eddie Carbone, his wife Beatrice and their orphaned niece, Catherine. Catherine has lived her life under the shelter of her aunt and the watchful eye of her uncle. Even the proposition to accept a job is begrudgingly met. Meanwhile, Beatrice’s cousins, Marco and Rodolpho, have arrived from Italy having entered the country illegally.
As jealousy enters the ring, and the self destructive fragility of humanity is pushed to its limits, witness tragedy emerge from the ruins. A thrilling journey for all, absorb yourself in one of the most intense plays ever written.
- October 2016
Joe Spence (‘horrifying’, The Tab) and Stanley Thomas (‘a member of an otherwise indistinguishable gang of rowdy boys’, Varsity) pour an hour of delicious, meaty, brown sketches down your grateful throats.
From disputes on the Sodom town council to an x-rated seance, this’ll one to make you go ‘yeah, it was better than expected, I guess’. Join Joe and Stan at Pembroke New Cellars as they try to figure out exactly how to get themselves out of this hot, gravy-ey mess.
- October 2016
Ah, fanfiction. Taking things we love and making them a bit rubbish ever since Steve really enjoyed Mabel’s cave painting of a mammoth and did one a bit like it but rubbish. In this upcoming extravaganza, Shaw, Stopher and Fenton take the combined sincerity and irreverence of fanfiction and apply it vaguely to the format of sketch comedy. Three comedians who have done the rounds and got the t-shirt (they share it between them) take to the Cellars for an hour of good fun, laughs, and dodgy prose. Drinks provided.
- October 2016
Join a selection of the funniest student comedians on the circuit for the very first Smoker of the year! Whether you're a nervous fresher or an embittered finalist, get yourselves down to the cellars for what is sure to be an unforgettable night of mirth and revelry.
- June 2016
In collaboration with Pembroke Players Comedy, the Impronauts are here to round off your May Week! Sparkling fresh from a SELL-OUT run of Quickfire shows at the ADC, join Cambridge's most renowned (and only) improv troupe for a dinner-time treat, packed full of hilarious scenarios inspired entirely by the audience's suggestions.
★★★★★ “Genuinely Fantastic”—The Tab
★★★★ "an enjoyable and unpredictable evening of varied and energetic comedy"- Varsity
- May 2016
The Pembroke Players' annual Golden Gods Smoker is back! Come down to the Cellars for an evening of the freshest stand-up and sketches from veteran Footlights regulars and new talent alike. Complementary wine!
- March 2016
Cavemen. Table football. Birds.
What do all of these things have in common? In a word – nothing. In two words – still nothing. But even so, in this sketch show, all of these seemingly unrelated things will be linked together, whether they like it or not.
The premise of each sketch will be contained inside the previous one, like one Russian doll inside another. With the added incentive of free wine, what better way to kick off the final week of term than coming along to see Babushka?
- March 2016
Tristram Shandy is BACK!
After his smash-hit book tour, spanning 256 years and ending in style at the ADC in October, things haven't been going so well for Britain's finest Tristram. Death is a-coming. But in true Shandean style, Tristram sticks two fingers up at the Reaper. The first is the newly-resurrected, hitherto dead and buried Parson Yorick. The second is one last theatrical outing, a dense, mad, galloping horse of a play that promises to sweep you off your feet and across the English channel.
Join Tristram and Parson Yorick for a swift, funny, sunny, rambling, dangerous, lusty, lovely, loveless, daring, scary and, above all, Sentimental Journey through France, Italy and Beyond!
- February–March 2016
No Dogs. No Children. Know your limits.
The Cricketer's Legs is a booming business full of eccentric characters and amusing goings on. And the owner bloody hates it. All he wants is to maintain a sense of English propriety in his pub. But one day, what can only be described as a whole sketch show's worth of nonsense will push him to the edge. This is that nonsense.
Come on in to The Cricketer's Legs, grab a complimentary drink and settle to watch the conveniently comical antics of the regulars.
The pub is fictional, the beer is real.
A new sketch show from the people brought you the Tab theatre award winning UKIP: The Musical, Murder on the Disorient Express, Laugh You Long Time, String Me Up, Tate Cambridge, More Revelations, Hyper-History, and numerous Footlights Smokers.
For reals though, there's a free beer with every ticket...
Previous Praise:
"Innovative and excellent with a glorious bizarreness" - CTR
"A showcase of Cambridge's late night wit and sharpness" - Varsity
- February 2016
After a record-breaking, sold-out international run in and around Pembroke New Cellars, the Tab Theatre Award-winning* team behind 'Quinoa: A Middle Class Sketch Show' are back with more sketches!
Having faced weeks of training on a strict diet of middle-class grains and middle-range banter, join these six comedians (as seen in Footlights, Corpus and various college smokers) as they try and whip you into shape (comedic shape, that is!). You’ll be laughing so much, that weight will just fall off!**
"Original, clever and witty, I’m sure this lot will go far"- The Tab
"had me laughing harder than I have at any other show this term"- Varsity
"Genuinely hilarious"- Cambridge Theatre Review
*BEST COMEDY 2015 for "Sitcom: A Sitcom"- The Tab
**No money-back guarantee, always check the label, do not pass go, do not collect 200, you may or may not lose weight depending on your diet and exercise regime, ‘Quinoa’ may not be suitable for those with a poor sense of humour or irritable bowels.
- February 2016
“Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of that first link on one memorable day.”
As Pip’s memories unfold, a world of hidden ties is revealed. The chains of unrequited love, of unforgotten hate and unanswered questions bind together Charles Dickens’ characters. In this retelling of the seminal novel, we follow Pip’s journey from a blacksmith’s workshop to the houses of the wealthy London elite. This vivid exploration of Pip’s consciousness, and the series of events which shaped it, captures all the emotion, mystery and drama of Dickens’ original tale.
“I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.”
