Squirrel – Cian Sutton-Johal

Dr Meryl Istress – Bethan Workman

Amanda Istress – Kristy Poon

Jennifer Saunders/Dr. Christine Americanski – Lulu Ralison

Dawn French/Prof. Julie Comic-Relief – Alia Hobbs

Fernando the Evil Bursar – Bobby Hughes

Vice Chancellor Cherbora "Cher" Prentice/The Proctor – Zerlynde Goik

Dame Helen Ouanordos, Girtos Former Mistress/Admissions Officer – Seren Rhys-Cowen

Co-Director/Writer – Cian Sutton-Johal, Daniel Hanlon

Producer – Elliot Cheetham

Stage Manager – Amelie Charlton